Busy as a one-armed man pasting on wallpaper

“…Busy as a one-armed man… pasting on wallpaper.” O. Henry

Most people try to plan their lives so that the pace they create is bearable and the demands on their time and productivity are balanced and reasonable - but not me. When most families decide to schedule a major vacation during their kid’s spring break from school, logic would suggest that they clear the decks up until departure time to allow for appropriate planning and preparation. You put in a solid period of work at the office and at home that allows you to feel like you’re on top of things before you whirl away to vacationland. You leave your nights and weekends leading up to the trip in the family “truckster” free for itinerary planning, packing, and calm periods of reflection and meditation - but not me! Instead, I filled the 11 days leading up to this spring’s halcyon holiday with nonstop events and activities that left me barely packed as we headed out the door.

First, there was the wedding thing. Now, please don’t get me wrong: your son’s wedding is a blessed, life-altering event, but it does require a bit of your time and energy. It was a beautiful event that perfectly reflected their thoughtful and fun-loving personalities, but like all family weddings, it absorbed all the attention and energy of those around it like a giant sponge. A great time was had by all, but when I woke up the following day I was startled to remember that I had agreed to report for duty that afternoon to judge short subject films for the Cleveland International Film Festival (CIFF) for the next eight days straight! Just to make sure we weren’t too comfortable, we had also agreed to take care of my son’s dog (Atlas, the 100 lb. Labrador retriever) for the next five days while the wedded couple enjoyed their honeymoon.

So, to recap: that’s three days, one wedding, a house full of relatives, a very large black dog on the way, and eight straight days in the dark coming right around the corner…

In the interest of fairness, I need to state the following: Atlas is an absolute sweetheart. He’s a very smart (one might even say devious), somewhat overweight (one might say fat), happy older dog that was rescued by two very loving people who adore him, and so do we. He also gets along famously with our greyhound, also a rescued pup of older vintage, the two are inseparable. The challenge is that they are both large dogs, they both shed like the dickens (we went through two or three lint rollers in a week), and - in the words of my wife - “Atlas is a world class opportunist.” Under no circumstances do you leave him unsupervised within the vicinity of anything that can be interpreted as food. Likewise, be aware of his uncanny ability to choose a moment when all are distracted to sneak away and surprise us all with a surprisingly light-footed leap onto any nearby piece of upholstered furniture. And I’m not going to even get into the slobbering issue (ick!). Needless to say, the old boy kept us on our toes, but we were smiling the whole time, because like any dog worth his kibble, he is truly a charming rogue.

But who was I to complain? For most of Atlas’s time with us I merely walked him in the morning (two big dogs was a handful) and patted his big old head at the end of the night as I stumbled in from watching shorts at CIFF. The rest of my week consisted of working at The Music Settlement until 4pm or so, and then racing downtown to watch seven to eight short films a night and maybe another full length flick or two. If you’ve read this message before, you know what a great fan I am of CIFF, but this year I had an insider’s glimpse of the process like never before. The crowds were larger than ever (more than 71,000 attended!), and they screened more films than ever (300 plus), but it still ran like clockwork. I, however, ran more like a clock that needed new batteries. By the time the weekend rolled around, I was watching an average of nine individual films a day, counting shorts; still small change for a CIFF veteran!

To recap again: by the end of the week from Hades, wedding a distant memory, relatives shipped off to wherever, dog gone (doggone?), home chores and duties neglected, more than 100 movies seen, nine awards given to shorts, no packing done, no idea what day or time it was, and a plane to catch.

I then rise from the ashes and search everywhere for the shorts and polo shirts I hadn’t seen since Labor Day and throw it all in a suitcase and prepare myself for six days in the theme parks of Orlando, Florida (yippee?). Surprisingly, I take everything I need and things are absolutely fantastic in the world of Disney, where “magic” isn’t just a word, it’s the law. But there is no doubt I have some overlaps from the hectic days before heading to the sunshine, such as the gnawing sense that, like a good CIFF judge, I should be scoring the Muppets in 3-D movie for content and character development, and the strange compulsion to yell at Pluto when he sits in a chair during the Breakfast with the Characters event. I even end up running into my sister and her husband at the Hollywood Studios theme park (won’t those pesky relatives ever leave?). But the really odd part is that the whole crazy 14 days will forever make up some of the very best moments I will ever experience, and also some of the craziest.

To recap one more time: 18 days, one son married, one daughter-in-law gained, one dog watched like a hawk, dozens of flicks seen and miles driven, hundreds of theme park miles walked, tons of photos taken, millions of smiles logged. But I wouldn’t trade any of it for a billion dollars!

It’s good to be back- Have a great week!